Monthly Archives: February 2011


In all seriousness, however, much respect and condolences to those who have lost their lives in the recent days. What we’re witnessing now in these countries is so radical, that I do not think we (my generation) acknowledge the gravity of the situation. We’re living in some interesting times, for sure.

(But really though, that’s basically what’s going on in the Middle East/Mediterranean. Thing is, people aren’t walking away.)




Filed under srsbizness

From – “I Have a Philosophical Secret!”: The Lowest-Rated Jerry Springer Show Ever

Audience member: Okay, this is for Tina. Tina, I just wanna know how you can call yourself an existentialist, and still agree with Nietzsche’s doctrine of the Ubermensch. Doesn’t that imply a belief in intrinsic essences that is in direct contradiction with the fundamental principles of existentialism?

Tina: No! No! It doesn’t. We can be equal in potential, without being equal in eventual personal quality. It’s a question of Becoming, not Being.

Audience member: That’s just disguised essentialism!  You’re no existentialist!

Tina: I am so!

Audience member: You’re no existentialist!

Tina: I am so an existentialist, bitch!

Ursula stands and interjects.

Ursula: What does it [bleep] matter? Existentialism is just a cover for late capitalist anti-feminism! Look at how Sartre treated Simone de Beauvoir!

Women in the crowd cheer and stomp.

Tina: [Bleep] you! Fat-ass Foucaultian ho!

Ursula: You only wish you were smart enough to understand Foucault, bitch!


Read the whole thing here:

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Artificial Intelligence Is the Next Killer (App)

think about it: computers would make the best egalitarian slavemasters

screencapture from watson's jeopardy stint - ken jennings is on point

I’m kind of glad my grandmother has passed on. She didn’t have to deal with Watson sullying her favorite TV program, and I didn’t have to deal with demystifying our “new computer overlords” (i.e.: “No, this monstrosity has nothing to do with your social services. No, I don’t think it can make you a sandwich. And, yes, it might one day kill us all.”). Watching Watson’s performance on Jeopardy left me with an odd feeling. As if Kubrick got it right, I felt I was staring at a HAL 9000 – not at its “batshit-bent-on-killing-these-dumb-humans” tip, but its original “Daisy Bell” stage. We were captivated and entertained by the Watson system. This milestone in artificial intelligence, well, straight up dookies all over our (at least mine) expectations of what these heartless beasts can do.

Listen. I’m not really a techno-pessimist. This fascinates me to no end.

We got a machine that toasts sliced bread, and it even tells you when it’s finished! Do you realize how baller that is? Not only that, but we poo in porcelain bowls. PORCELAIN BOWLS. How godly have we become? Years ago we’d just settle by a nice tree or riverside and just drop those deuces with no thought. And don’t even trip, because at one point toilet paper didn’t even exist. Someone got sick of their swamp butt and probably picked up a leaf and started wiping (how do you think we really found out about poison ivy?). And finally we sit at the zenith of our creation, we have knowledge at our fingertips – and it’s called the Internet. Now we got Watson who can access all of this information quicker and concisely (by the way, it was disconnected from the Internet during the show – but it did have Wikipedia saved up in itself).

Because you shouldn’t trust what I’m saying, check out this blurb from The Atlantic:

AI capability may start out by being built into the productivity applications used by workers, but over time, it will evolve to the point that these applications can perform much of the work autonomously: AI will become a tool for managers rather than workers. The result is likely to be substantial job losses for knowledge workers and a flattening of organizational charts that will eliminate large numbers of middle managers. (The impact of automation will, of course, be in addition to that of offshoring.) Many of these people will be highly educated professionals who had previously assumed that they were, because of their skills and advanced educations, beneficiaries of the trend toward an increasingly technological and globalized world.

– Martin Ford: Artificial Intelligence Is the Next Killer App

So now what? I’m down for a computer to aid in the butt-wiping process. But lord, do I fear the day when our robot masters will be the ones wiping us. (You like that joke? Yeah, I know you did. Holler.)

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the lost generation gets an apartment

is this my future?

via - the lost generation gets an apartment

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What’s good

Instead of a stock introduction post, I have compiled rules to this game. This internet game.

Rules of the game:

1. No significant talk of a significant other or of prospects. Everyone’s lonely. We all get it. But maybe that’s why you’re on the Internet to begin with, to meet new people. Don’t meet new people (Refer to rule #4).

2. Don’t ever look or be surprised. The name of the game is: Desensitization. Now the Internet can smell the slightest trace of fear, and can send pizzas or a SWAT team to your door.

3. Laugh at everything. Because secretly it all hurts deep down.

4. Avoid meeting people from the Internet. You’ll either be extremely disappointed or harassed. Or you could be taking a step down a hole you will never come back from. Read: every comic/anime convention.

5. Remember you are being watched and judged. It’s not just about your Facebook profile picture anymore, no. You just’d a stream of Blink182 under the handle, “IFellInLoveWithTheGirlFromTheRockShowX”“, and you’re 24 years old. Someone from Norway is laughing at you now. They’re probably younger than you.

6. Never forget that getting “famous on the Internet” is easier than you’d imagine.

7. Keep your mouth shut. No one can comment if you have no voice. And if you did, prepare for a shit-storm.

8. Ultimately, on the world wide web, you are just a series of photos, minute details, and maybe a resume if you’re that savvy. Don’t act like you don’t know.

9. If you are drunk: avoid internet-shopping, e-mail of any kind, Facebook, AIM, and, if hardy enough, your blog. In fact it would better the cause of humanity if you got off the computer and concentrated on getting more wasted. If you’re not off the computer within five minutes, you are not picking a new song for that sick party you’re at. No, you are probably alone, in your room, with nothing but the reflection of your glowing laptop screen on your eyeglasses, blinding you from the harsh, cold world.

10. Embrace it. Old forms of community, communication, and courting are getting phased out. You best get ready to break rule four. I don’t take back the whole stepping “down a deep hole” statement though.

11. And the eleventh rule? There are no real rules, just your dignity. And soul. Let’s not forget about that last one.

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